Today I had an interesting conversation with my student Cris. Over the weekend she welcomed her niece into the world, and had a funny story about her other niece who is now a big sister. Cris said that her sister-in-law told the older niece that her breast was now for the baby and no longer for her. I asked Cris how old the older niece was and she said 2 years old. My reaction to this was "WOW, a 2 year old breastfeeding." Then Cris went on to tell me that it is common in Brazil for women to breastfeed their children until 4 or 5. The thought of this made me cringe. Of course I am not a mother and I have no idea what it is like to breastfeed but I really cant imagine a 4 year old child playing with his toys, getting thirsty and running over to his mom's boob for a top up. The shock that I felt about children breastfeeding until 4 or 5 was reflected in Cris's eyes when I told her the majority of American mothers stop breastfeeding after 6-9 months, and some mother's choose not to breastfeed altogether. Her exact words were "Isn't that cold?" I didn't know exactly how to respond to that question. Then she went on to tell me that the doctors practically yell at mothers who choose to stop breastfeeding before 2 years old, telling them that they are bad mothers and they don't want whats best for their children. Harsh!
This conversation easily led into a conversation about how smothering Brazilian mothers are. Over the weekend Leto and I went to his favorite restaurant (Empanada's Bar) to watch his soccer team play. While we were there a family came and sat next to us. The boy, who was about 8 was playing a Nintendo DS. His mother picked up a french fry and put it in his mouth while he was playing. She did this repeatedly while he did not take his eyes off of the screen. She even fed him soda. Now of course this is not a super common event here in Brazil but I wasn't very surprised by it either.
Brazilian mothers are notorious for their smothering. They take baby talk to a new level! And every woman, weather she has had a child or not will sing the "Happy Birthday" song to a child who is under 1. I asked Leto why women do this and he said it was to prepare the child for their first birthday party, so the child wont be scared or cry during the singing of the song but will clap along and maybe sing a word or two. Of course times are changing and vurturaly all women work and raise children at the same time but the smothering continues. I guess it is one of those cultural differences that I will never understand and Leto knows I will not be a smothering Brazilian mother, I will leave that up to him ;-)
Monday, February 7, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Brazilian Beach Life
With miles upon miles of beautiful coastline in the state of Sao Paulo I have often wondered why very few people actually live in the beach cities of Sao Paulo. I grew up in the desert of Southern California and moved to the beach as soon as I could when I started University and swore that I would never look back. Well, here I am, in Sao Paulo, a good hour away from the beach, and that is with absolutely no traffic. Now dont get me wrong, of course Brazilians love the beach. But they don't live there, at least not in the state of Sao Paulo. Many of our friends do have houses at the beach but they don't go as often as they should.
(Sao Sebastiao looking at Ilhabela from our friend, Ligia's house)
For New Year's weekend Leto and I decided to go to the beach with his family. I was ecstatic about the idea of leaving the concrete jungle of Sao Paulo for the long weekend. The only problem was we were not the only ones with this great idea. Brazilians flock to the beach for New Year's like American's flock to Time's Square. Sao Paulo, with its 11 million inhabitants (that's the city, NOT the metro which has nearly 20 million inhabitants) becomes a vertual ghost town as people try to catch some summer rays. We arrived at the beach town of Ubatuba after about 5 hours of driving with moderate traffic. Even though the sun was nowhere in sight and rain was threatening the beach was packed with people.
(crowded beach of Ubatuba)
After a few hours I realized why people do not live at the beach. One cannot sit on the beach without being bombarded by vendors selling anything from hippie crafted earrings to cheese grilled on a stick (which i have dubbed "squeaky cheese" because of the noise it makes as you chew it). One of the benefits of having vendors on the beach is that you are never without a beer, so I can't complain too much. There are also an abundance of homeless dogs on the beach begging for anything that will satisfy their empty stomachs. A couple of New Years' ago I was on a different beach in Sao Paulo and there was a dog that looked like it was on its last breath and decided to make its death bed right in front of us. The nice people I was with decided to scrounge up some food and even offered it up on a plate to the dog. It ate the food in less than 10 seconds gathered some strength and made its way down the beach to some more of what I guessed were unknowing victims.
When we when we got back to the little apartment from the beach on New Year's Eve we returned to the news that there was no water. As it happens, this is a very common occurrence in the beach cities during long holiday weekends. During the week and throughout the year the beach cities are almost deserted and pluming is no problem, but when the crowds come the water and sometimes electricity seem to vanish. The small beach cities cannot cope with the increased needs during the long weekends and it is almost expected that there will be no water at some point during your holiday. This is another reason why people do not live at the beach in Sao Paulo.
One of the great traditions of New Year's at the beach in Sao Paulo is the migration to the water for the count down. We got to the water about 30 minutes before midnight and there were already hundreds of people there. Another Brazilian New Year's traditions that I love is that everyone wears white. I was once told that Brazilians do this in hope of peace for the coming year. A wonderful tradition except in a beach city like Ubatuba where it rains everyday. Of course it started to rain at about 11:45pm and everyone was soaked... wearing white. Talk about wet t-shirt contest! The rain subsided as the countdown neared. There was a little confusion about the countdown as there was no official person keeping time, just everyone with their watches or cell phone clocks. Champagne was sprayed and drunk as fireworks exploded overhead while people kissed and hugged and wished their friends and family a "Feliz Ano Novo." Ten minutes later the rain returned and we headed back to our little apartment. Leto and I were in bed a 12:35am, a record for me!
(a few minutes before midnight in Ubatuba)
So I guess my dreams of living at the beach will have to be put on hold for the foreseeable future... but at least I can visit it whenever I can convince my husband!
(Sao Sebastiao looking at Ilhabela from our friend, Ligia's house)For New Year's weekend Leto and I decided to go to the beach with his family. I was ecstatic about the idea of leaving the concrete jungle of Sao Paulo for the long weekend. The only problem was we were not the only ones with this great idea. Brazilians flock to the beach for New Year's like American's flock to Time's Square. Sao Paulo, with its 11 million inhabitants (that's the city, NOT the metro which has nearly 20 million inhabitants) becomes a vertual ghost town as people try to catch some summer rays. We arrived at the beach town of Ubatuba after about 5 hours of driving with moderate traffic. Even though the sun was nowhere in sight and rain was threatening the beach was packed with people.
(crowded beach of Ubatuba)After a few hours I realized why people do not live at the beach. One cannot sit on the beach without being bombarded by vendors selling anything from hippie crafted earrings to cheese grilled on a stick (which i have dubbed "squeaky cheese" because of the noise it makes as you chew it). One of the benefits of having vendors on the beach is that you are never without a beer, so I can't complain too much. There are also an abundance of homeless dogs on the beach begging for anything that will satisfy their empty stomachs. A couple of New Years' ago I was on a different beach in Sao Paulo and there was a dog that looked like it was on its last breath and decided to make its death bed right in front of us. The nice people I was with decided to scrounge up some food and even offered it up on a plate to the dog. It ate the food in less than 10 seconds gathered some strength and made its way down the beach to some more of what I guessed were unknowing victims.
When we when we got back to the little apartment from the beach on New Year's Eve we returned to the news that there was no water. As it happens, this is a very common occurrence in the beach cities during long holiday weekends. During the week and throughout the year the beach cities are almost deserted and pluming is no problem, but when the crowds come the water and sometimes electricity seem to vanish. The small beach cities cannot cope with the increased needs during the long weekends and it is almost expected that there will be no water at some point during your holiday. This is another reason why people do not live at the beach in Sao Paulo.
One of the great traditions of New Year's at the beach in Sao Paulo is the migration to the water for the count down. We got to the water about 30 minutes before midnight and there were already hundreds of people there. Another Brazilian New Year's traditions that I love is that everyone wears white. I was once told that Brazilians do this in hope of peace for the coming year. A wonderful tradition except in a beach city like Ubatuba where it rains everyday. Of course it started to rain at about 11:45pm and everyone was soaked... wearing white. Talk about wet t-shirt contest! The rain subsided as the countdown neared. There was a little confusion about the countdown as there was no official person keeping time, just everyone with their watches or cell phone clocks. Champagne was sprayed and drunk as fireworks exploded overhead while people kissed and hugged and wished their friends and family a "Feliz Ano Novo." Ten minutes later the rain returned and we headed back to our little apartment. Leto and I were in bed a 12:35am, a record for me!
(a few minutes before midnight in Ubatuba)So I guess my dreams of living at the beach will have to be put on hold for the foreseeable future... but at least I can visit it whenever I can convince my husband!
Monday, January 10, 2011
Blogging Again!
So with summer vacation well underway I have decided to start blogging again! My other blog (Kathy's Travel Blog) no longer fits me as I am no longer traveling... so I have decided to blog about my Brazilian life. I will write about my life in Sao Paulo, my experiences in Brazil and the differences from American life, and believe me, there are MANY! I know my other blog only lasted about a month. I will try to keep this one going longer!
So over the weekend my husband Leto and I went to his cousin's wedding. A Brazilian wedding is very different from an American wedding. First of all I have never met this cousin before and Leto has not see her for a while, yet he was in her wedding. In Brazil the bride and groom select who they want to be in their wedding. The bride has her friends and family (men and women) and the groom has his friends and family (men and women). In America the bride usually chooses her bride's maids and the groom usually chooses his groom's men. In Brazil the bride does choose her brid
e's maids but they are usually partnered with their husbands or boyfriends. The same goes for the Brazilian groom. He chooses his groom's men but his groom's men are partnered with their wives or girlfriends. Leto was partnered with his sister, Sol, killing 2 birds with one stone for the family representatives. As you may realize this equals a very large wedding party! Last weekend's wedding had 12 couples. My sister-in-law said she went to a wedding with 25 couples! Imagine that!
Unlike an American wedding the Brazilian bride's maids wear all different dresses and the dresses have to be all different colors. As opposed to the American bride who wants to standout and put her bride's maids in unflattering dresses, the Brazilian bride's maids get to look as ravishing as they want, sometimes even upstaging the bride with a neon pink dress (as one bride's maid was wearing this past weekend). The Brazilian groom's men, however, all wear the same tux.
In Brazil most weddings start in the evening. This wedding was supposed to start at 8:30pm. Me being my father's daughter, and fashionably early arrived a few minutes before 8. Leto and I were the very first ones there. The catering staff were still setting up. Leto was a little embarrassed while I could care less. So we were sitting and waiting, sitting and waiting. Slowly people started to arrive. The rest of Leto's family arrived a little before 8:30. It looked as if there would be no one at this wedding. My sister-in-law, Sol, even commented that it is a bride's wor
st fear, for no one to show up at their wedding. Nine o'clock came and went with not a hint of the start, but at least the venue was starting to fill up. Brazilian's were definitely not raised by my father, and prefer to show up fashionably late rather than fashionably early. Nine thirty came, one hour behind, and still no start in sight. Finally at about 9:45 the wedding party was called to back of the dance hall. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief thinking that it was about to start, and it did start, 15 minutes later. During the wedding, I was not really paying attention. As it was in Portuguese and I was distracted by taking pictures I understood very little. Finally I heard the "I dos" and there was the exchanging of the rings. Then the part came that I dread. The bride and groom went around to every single person in their wedding party, hugged and kissed them while receiving well wishes and congratulations. This wedding party had 12 couples, 24 people that the bride and groom needed to hug and kiss, imagine the wedding that had 25 couples! This tradition makes weddings so much longer than they need to be.
After the ceremony comes the party. The party doesn't differ that much from an American wedding reception. There wasn't really a toast, it was more of a photo opportunity in front of the cake for the bride and groom. I don't think that anyone at the party was aware that the "toast" and cake cutting was even happening. The buffet opened and people began to eat at about 11:30pm. Now I was a banquet server at weddings in California, and the weddings there had to end by 10pm, where as here, in Brazil, the ceremony was beginning at 10pm. Leto's family wanted to leave at about midnight and had to ask to have the cake cut so they could take some home. I thought that was cute.
The dancing began at about 12:30am and out came the goofy sunglasses, fake sequined ties and feather
y boas. I am not going to lie, I love this tradition and I have developed quite a collection of plastic star sunglasses from all of the weddings I have been to here. This tradition is fun and gets everyone, even the shy guys sipping their whiskey in the corner, to come out on the dance floor and act silly. While all this silliness was going on a few of the groom's men were walking around with the groom's tie and cutting it into pieces and selling the pieces to the other men at the party. This replaces the American tradition of the money dance and give the bride and groom some cash for their honeymoon.
Leto and I decided to leave at about 1:30am, although I think the party could have gone on for a couple more hours. All in all it was a nice wedding. Most of our friends are married so it will probably be a while until the next one.
So over the weekend my husband Leto and I went to his cousin's wedding. A Brazilian wedding is very different from an American wedding. First of all I have never met this cousin before and Leto has not see her for a while, yet he was in her wedding. In Brazil the bride and groom select who they want to be in their wedding. The bride has her friends and family (men and women) and the groom has his friends and family (men and women). In America the bride usually chooses her bride's maids and the groom usually chooses his groom's men. In Brazil the bride does choose her brid
e's maids but they are usually partnered with their husbands or boyfriends. The same goes for the Brazilian groom. He chooses his groom's men but his groom's men are partnered with their wives or girlfriends. Leto was partnered with his sister, Sol, killing 2 birds with one stone for the family representatives. As you may realize this equals a very large wedding party! Last weekend's wedding had 12 couples. My sister-in-law said she went to a wedding with 25 couples! Imagine that!Unlike an American wedding the Brazilian bride's maids wear all different dresses and the dresses have to be all different colors. As opposed to the American bride who wants to standout and put her bride's maids in unflattering dresses, the Brazilian bride's maids get to look as ravishing as they want, sometimes even upstaging the bride with a neon pink dress (as one bride's maid was wearing this past weekend). The Brazilian groom's men, however, all wear the same tux.
In Brazil most weddings start in the evening. This wedding was supposed to start at 8:30pm. Me being my father's daughter, and fashionably early arrived a few minutes before 8. Leto and I were the very first ones there. The catering staff were still setting up. Leto was a little embarrassed while I could care less. So we were sitting and waiting, sitting and waiting. Slowly people started to arrive. The rest of Leto's family arrived a little before 8:30. It looked as if there would be no one at this wedding. My sister-in-law, Sol, even commented that it is a bride's wor
st fear, for no one to show up at their wedding. Nine o'clock came and went with not a hint of the start, but at least the venue was starting to fill up. Brazilian's were definitely not raised by my father, and prefer to show up fashionably late rather than fashionably early. Nine thirty came, one hour behind, and still no start in sight. Finally at about 9:45 the wedding party was called to back of the dance hall. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief thinking that it was about to start, and it did start, 15 minutes later. During the wedding, I was not really paying attention. As it was in Portuguese and I was distracted by taking pictures I understood very little. Finally I heard the "I dos" and there was the exchanging of the rings. Then the part came that I dread. The bride and groom went around to every single person in their wedding party, hugged and kissed them while receiving well wishes and congratulations. This wedding party had 12 couples, 24 people that the bride and groom needed to hug and kiss, imagine the wedding that had 25 couples! This tradition makes weddings so much longer than they need to be.After the ceremony comes the party. The party doesn't differ that much from an American wedding reception. There wasn't really a toast, it was more of a photo opportunity in front of the cake for the bride and groom. I don't think that anyone at the party was aware that the "toast" and cake cutting was even happening. The buffet opened and people began to eat at about 11:30pm. Now I was a banquet server at weddings in California, and the weddings there had to end by 10pm, where as here, in Brazil, the ceremony was beginning at 10pm. Leto's family wanted to leave at about midnight and had to ask to have the cake cut so they could take some home. I thought that was cute.
The dancing began at about 12:30am and out came the goofy sunglasses, fake sequined ties and feather
y boas. I am not going to lie, I love this tradition and I have developed quite a collection of plastic star sunglasses from all of the weddings I have been to here. This tradition is fun and gets everyone, even the shy guys sipping their whiskey in the corner, to come out on the dance floor and act silly. While all this silliness was going on a few of the groom's men were walking around with the groom's tie and cutting it into pieces and selling the pieces to the other men at the party. This replaces the American tradition of the money dance and give the bride and groom some cash for their honeymoon.Leto and I decided to leave at about 1:30am, although I think the party could have gone on for a couple more hours. All in all it was a nice wedding. Most of our friends are married so it will probably be a while until the next one.
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